Monday, May 14, 2012

A Moment on Mother's Day...

Something happened today.

I have never been one for plants. I grew up with my grandmother, who religiously went to nurseries and to garden departments in the home improvement stores. I hated these trips. I hated spending hours walking up and down rows of plants, that to me, served no other purpose than to look pretty. As I grew up and out on my own, she would give me a little plant here and there for my apartment. They would die shortly thereafter. I didn't have the time to invest in this houseplant that once again, served no purpose.

In starting this homesteading journey, I knew I would have to face the gardening aspect. The theory in my head is that I would be planting vegetables. They produced something I could eat, therefore making any efforts worthwhile. I have been slowly finding myself enjoying sprouting my seeds on my kitchen window sill and spending a couple hours outside planting in my corner garden. Things have been going well.

So this brings us to today. We have recently moved into my boyfriend's house. It was by far a bachelor pad. I decided today to take on the front flower beds to help give the house some curb appeal. They are currently empty except for a few random tulip bulbs and bottle caps leftover from nights of drinking on the front porch during the bachelor days. Taking on this task meant that I was facing something I knew I was completely clueless about and if history repeats itself, anything I plant will probably die anyway. So I packed up the kids and drove out to Lowe's. They were interested for about 10 minutes and then ended up in the cart whining about wanting to go home and how it was boring. It was muggy and about an hour past their nap times. We walked up and down the garden department looking for inexpensive plants that would be colorful.

When we got home, I got the kids down for a nap and I went outside and started digging. Not sure of proper placement and spacing and watering requirements, I started guessing at where things should go. It took me awhile, but I got things looking pretty nice. I felt like I was redeeming myself for all the plants I had killed before. I only had one more plant to get into the ground...

Then it happened. I placed the plant into the hole and I was packing the dirt around it and I felt this overwhelming feeling of connectedness. I doubt that is a word, but I felt something so powerful in my heart. It was a pure feeling of goodness. It was as if there was an energy that I was sharing with this plant and the dirt and just nature in general. It was like I could feel how alive it was. I felt like I was doing the right thing by taking this plant out of that black plastic container and returning it to its home in the earth.  I'm sure the majority of people that would read this would think I am now a crazy plant lady, but I know there has to be people that have this connection.

This moment I feel has changed me. I feel like this was something I needed. As I have stated in other posts, I have times of self-doubt and insecurity. I think to myself, why am I trying to do all this? But there are moments like this that are hard to describe, that give me complete reassurance in the path I am taking. It was a brief feeling, but it will stay with me forever...

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